Why gay men need social groups

Croydon old town

Last night I had a lovely evening giving a short talk and reading of Changing Trains to the members of the Croydon Area Gay Society. The group meets regularly in a private space in the super friendly and very well run Spread Eagle pub next to the library and Town Hall in the borough.

I think they enjoyed it because we had quite a long Q&A afterwards, which I enjoyed massively. The thing that really struck me though was, here was a group of gay men all from a local borough coming together on a Tuesday night for a beer, chat, and a bit of culture. 

I can tell you from my own experiences that increasingly, we are living in a world where single gay men risk becoming more isolated than ever. For many the only chance of any kind of social contact with other guys is via hook up apps and therefore based around sex. It may be may start off being hot, fun and convenient, but it's not the best way to build friendships and develop your cultural tastes, let alone self esteem.

The CAGS boasts more than 200 members, and brings both younger and older gay men together, who live in the same neighbourhood, at a monthly social event based on a cultural activity, which last night happened to be yours truly speaking about his novel.

Post reading Q&A

Imagine if you could make friends and be part of a locally-based social group that wasn't oriented around sex, but other interests, that gave people the opportunity to talk to each other, share experiences and learn from those across different age ranges.

I think Croydon is very fortunate to have a gay social contact group like this and I wish there was one where I live. And it's thanks to committed individuals like David and Peter, the committee members who invited me to speak, that gay men living in that part of town have a fun, monthly social event that they can go to.

One thing the CAGS doesn't have right now, though, is a social media presence. No Facebook page, no Twitter account, although it does have a website, which you can visit here. The committee assured me it was something they would like to do, but I got a sense they may not entirely be sure what it all entails.

So if you're a younger, social media savvy Croydonian, and you want to get involved in a great social group and help them set up and run their Facebook and Twitter pages, get in touch with them. If I lived in Croydon, I would be there helping in a flash.